


Long Past Dawn

by DefinitelyAlmostHuman



Series: Fictober 2020 [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Identity Reveal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyAlmostHuman/pseuds/DefinitelyAlmostHuman
Summary: Stern and Barclay have been dating for almost a year. There's just one problem: Stern still doesn't know the truth. Tired of Barclay's lies, Stern decides to take their relationship into his own hands. But can Barclay win Stern back?
Relationships: Barclay/Agent Stern (The Adventure Zone)
Series: Fictober 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954525
Kudos: 45





	1. Drinking Lies

**Author's Note:**

> fictober day 4 y'all!!! Based on the prompt "that didn’t stop you before” from fictober-event on tumblr  
> 

That was it. That was the last straw. He couldn’t do it anymore. Nearly a year, and still, Barclay was sneaking around. Going behind Stern’s back. Lying. Keeping secrets. Now, normally, Stern wasn’t the overly protective type. He wasn’t the type that needed to know absolutely everything about the other person. He didn’t need to know where Barclay was at all times. 

But the longer this went on, the more obvious it was that Barclay wasn’t just a closed-off person-- he was hiding something. Something big. Something that was obviously important for Stern to know. 

Every time the subject came up, Barclay made something up. Some excuse. Some story. And Stern could always tell that the other man was hiding something. 

“Joe, please--” Barclay pleaded, reaching out to where Stern was on the other side of the room. 

“Enough, Barclay! I don’t want to hear it!” Stern shoved yet another one of his shirts into his suitcase. “I’m tired of the lying. Of the secrets. I’m done with this! If you can’t tell me now--” 

“That never stopped you before!” Barclay walked over to Stern with urgency and gently grasped Stern’s wrist. That was what Stern had come to love about Barclay. He was so gentle, so loving--so forgiving. 

It was easy to break out of the grasp. “Well, it’s stopping me now.” Stern looked up at Barclay, an intensity in his eyes that was difficult to place. Maybe that was because he didn’t really know what he wanted anymore. Not from the relationship, not from Barclay. He wanted the truth, sure, but what if the truth wasn’t something he wanted to hear. “I know you’re hiding something from be, Barclay, and it’s eating at me and eating at me... Don’t you trust me?” 

Barclay stood ridged, towering over Stern with his massive height. His jaw clenched, and his eyes went cold. “I do.” 

“Then tell me the _truth_.” It was Stern’s turn to reach out that time, placing his hands on Barclay’s broad shoulders and staring directly into his eyes. They stared at each other for a long time--Stern lost track of how long--but nothing was said. 

Finally, Barclay averted his gaze, ashamed. “...I can’t.” He squeezed his eyes shut tight, his body trembling slightly. “I’m... I’m sorry.” 

Stern back away, stumbling like he had been shot. His eyes were wide, and his breath caught in his throat. He gulped, a desperate attempt to get the air moving. But his throat was tight. “I see. Then this is over.” 

“Stern, please, I just need more time. This isn’t just about me! I can’t just...” Barclay stopped short, and a fire burned in Stern’s chest. 

“Oh, so there are other people in on your little thing? You can tell others but not me?” Stern straightened his shoulders. “Don’t tell me there’s someone else...” 

“What? No, Joe, I’d never... No, there’s no one else, I promise you.” Barclay stepped forward, wrenching a hand through his hair. He was sweating, Stern noticed. Nervous. His gaze was everywhere, but rarely ever on Stern. Whatever this secret was, it was enough to make him a nervous wreck around his own boyfriend. 

Well, perhaps it was more accurate to say ex-boyfriend at this point. 

Stern shook his head. “I just don’t know how I can trust you, Barclay. How can I trust you when you can’t even look me in the eyes?”

“Have I ever given you a reason to not trust me? All the times we’ve been together, all the late nights we spent together? I’ve been honest with you, Stern, I just... not this. I can’t talk to you about this. I’m sorry.” 

“Fine. If that’s how you feel, then... then this is it.” 

Barclay’s eyes snapped to Stern’s for the first time. They were large and misty with the threat of tears. “Joe...” 

“No. I can’t do this anymore, ok? Maybe it’s better if we separate... until you’re ready.” It was Stern’s turn to look away. It hurt, seeing Barclay like that. More than he could describe. But it hurt more being left out of such a big part of Barclay’s life. 

“If that’s what you want.” Barclay’s jaw clenched, and he spoke through his teeth. But it wasn’t out of anger, it was out of sadness. He was choking back a sob. 

“Fine.” Stern grabbed the last thing of his in Barclay’s room and shoved it in his bag, zipping it up. 

“Fine.” Barclay stepped back, turning his head just as the first tear streamed down his cheek. 

And Stern left. 


	2. On The Doorstep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barclay is determined to get Stern back. But at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 is fictober day 6! Based on the prompt "just say it"  
> 

Barclay let out a heavy breath as he stood in front of the wooden door that led to Stern’s apartment. He was shaking with nervous, sweat beading on his forehead. All he wanted was to get Stern back. He knew the risks. He knew that Mama wouldn’t be happy. But he also knew that he cared about Stern, and that was all he could think about. 

Even Bigfoot deserved a good love story, right? 

Barclay sucked in a breath and slowly knocked on the door, the so9und vibrating through the halls. He could hear rustling from the other side of the door--scrambling was one word for it, before finally, it was open. And he laid eyes on Stern for the first time in weeks. 

Just one look, and Barclay’s heart swelled. He could hardly comprehend the emotions swirling in the pit of his stomach. He put on a crooked, anxious smile and waved a half-wave. “Hi…” 

Stern frowned instantly. “You shouldn’t be here. I believe I remember breaking up with you.” Stern’s hand tensed around the door. He was wearing a plain white button-down shirt and black slacks, and his hair was unkept--like it had once been styled, but was a wreck from Stern running his hands through it all day. Barclay could only assume he had recently gotten off work. Which meant it was the best and worst time to go through with this. 

“I know… I know that, but… I was hoping we could talk more.” Barclay bit his lip slightly as he looked down at Stern. His expression faltered more the longer they stood in silence, and for a moment, Barclay was worried that Stern would say no. That he really had run out of chances. 

Stern pursed his lips and gripped the door even tighter, shifting his weight from his left foot to his right and back to his left again. He pondered for quite some time, but eventually, his shoulders slumped and he tore his eyes away from Barclay. “Alright. Alright, fine. We can try to talk it over.” Stern turned around and walked into his apartment, leaving the door open for Barclay to follow. 

Barclay slowly stepped inside, hesitating slightly. Was he really going to go through with this? What would happen if Stern demanded to know the truth? Was Barclay really going to divulge the secret just because he was in love? 

_ In love _ . 

Barclay almost stopped at his own thoughts. That was a point they had never gotten to in their relationship. The love part. Sure, they liked each other, but… saying those words… ‘I love you,’ that just hadn’t come up. 

But it was true, wasn’t it? Barclay did love Stern. He loved Stern with all his heart. He loved Stern with every fiber of his being--the very fabric that made him who he was. And that was just his luck, wasn’t it?

That he would fall in love with the person hunting him. 

Barclay quietly made his way over to the kitchen area, where Stern was busying himself with getting a glass of water. “So? What did you want to talk about?” 

“I love you.” The words dropped from Barclay’s lips with the glass in Stern’s hand and shattered in front of them. 

“What?” Stern had turned completely white, pale as a sheet. The glass shards sprinkled the ground like snowfall as the water seeped through Stern’s socks. 

“Oh my God, Joe, the glass-” Barclay was instantly at Stern’s side, on his knees picking up the shards of glass delicately with his fingers. 

“Barclay, what did you just say?”

Barclay paused and let out a sigh, then looked up at Stern with the most earnest expression he could manage. “I said… I said I love you. And it’s true.” Barclay threw out the larger shardes of glass under Stern’s sink. 

“What the fuck, Barclay?” Stern’s voice was sharp and pointed. It sounded like those weren’t words he wanted to hear. 

Barclay flinched. 

And the two fell silent. Each waiting for the other to explain. Each waiting for the other to lay down and submit. But they wouldn’t. Barclay wasn’t about to apoligize for telling the truth about his feelings, and Stern wasn’t about to apologize for doing what was best for his mental health, and so they found themselves at a stalemate. 

But Barclay caved first. 

“I-I know, it’s probably not what you want to hear right now--” 

“It’s the last thing I want to hear right now. You think you can come back here, flashing your gorgeous smile, say those three little words I longed to hear weeks ago, and have all of this go away?” Stern’s eyes burned with the beginning of tears. 

“I…” Barclay straightened, towering over Stern, and slumped his shoulders. “I didn’t mean it like this, I just--I came because I want you back. I want us back!” 

“Clearly,” Stern noted bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Barclay sighed. “I don’t want… I don’t expect you to say it back. I know I messed up but, Joe… I… I can’t just sit back and ignore my feelings for you.” 

“I’d rather you did.” Stern’s lip quivered slightly and he averted his eyes. 

The words hit Barclay like daggers, each one digging into another part of his heart. “Joe, please.” 

“Don’t ‘Joe, please,’ me! Barclay, I told you I can’t…” Stern sighed heavily. 

“I know… And that’s… that’s what I came to talk to you about.” Barclay looked down. “I want you to understand.” 

“Why… Why can't you just say it? Why be so cryptic?” 

“Because I can’t… my hands are tied, Joe. So tied I--If I could tell you…” Barclay couldn’t form full sentences. His heart was racing, pounding into his ribs with every syllable. Sweat beaded on his forehead, matching the tears forming in his eyes. 

Stern shook his head. “I just don’t understand why. Don’t you trust me?” 

Barclay stepped forward, gently grabbing Stern by his shoulders. “Of course I trust you, but it’s not just about me. I wish...” Barclay sighed “...I wish things were different.” 

“Yeah. So do I.” Stern’s jaw was clenched, along with his fists, and he took a step back. 

Barclay felt something inside of him shatter at that moment. No. No, this wasn't what he wanted. Everything was going wrong! He stepped forward, one hand outstretched, pleading. “I-...”

Stern turned around. “I don’t want to hear your excuses, Barclay, I just don’t want to be lied to! Please!”

“Okay.” Barclay put down his hand. 

Stern looked over his shoulder. “Okay?” 

“Okay. No more lies. I promise.” 

Stern’s eyes shined, and he turned back around. “Really?” 

Barclay stepped forward again, gently taking Stern’s hand into his. “I meant what I said. I love you. I  _ love _ you. I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to deceive you.” 

“Then tell me.” Stern’s voice caught in his throat as his eyes locked on Barclay’s lips. He moved closer, their foreheads nearly touching. 

Barclay gave Stern’s hand a squeeze. He drew in a shaking breath. Losing Stern was not an option. But telling him wasn’t an option either--not until he talked to the others. His eyes welled with tears as the reality of the situation started to sink in. “Can you keep a secret?” He whispered, voice strained. 

Stern blinked. “What?” 

“Can you keep a secret.” Barclay repeated, his voice more stable and sure. 

“I’m a federal agent. Of course, I can keep a secret.” Stern cocked his head to the side, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation. 

“Even… even if it means keeping it from your government?” 

Stern stepped back. “What are you implying?” 

Barclay looked away. That wasn’t the reaction he had been hoping for. But it was a reaction he should have expected. “Nothing. I’m not… implying anything I just…” He shook his head. “Nothing.” 

Stern stepped forward slowly, looking at Barclay with cautious eyes. He gently took Barclay’s hand again. “I love you too.” 

Barclay’s eyes snapped back to Stern. “You… you do?” 

Stern nodded, intertwining their fingers. “I do. Why do you think not knowing bothered me so much? I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. To trust me, but… I don’t want to force you. I just also can’t take being lied to.” 

“So… what do we do?” Barclay lay his forehead on Stern’s, drawing in a deep breath. 

Stern closed his eyes. “I don’t know.” 

“I want… I want to be with you. I really, really do.” 

“I know. I want that too.” 

“So no more lying.” Barclay breathed, letting his eyes flutter shut as well.

“No more lying.” 

“But I can’t… I can’t tell you the truth either. Not yet.” 

“Why?” 

“Because… I know it will hurt people. Hurt  _ you _ .” Barclay pulled away entirely, his back to Stern. 

Stern opened his eyes and stepped closer, raising his hand to put it on Barclay’s shoulder. He gave Barclay a little squeeze. 

“Try me.”


	3. Truth Comes Tumbling Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barclay finally tells stern the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 3 is fictober day 7 and is based on the prompt "I trust you"  
> 

Barclay turned and looked down at Stern with the slightest glimmer of hope in his eyes. He touched the hemp bracelet on his wrist with one hand, gliding his fingers over the rough texture. All he needed to do was take off that one thing, and the secret would be out. That would be it. 

And Stern would leave him. 

God, of  _ course, _ Stern would leave him! What kind of human would want to date Bigfoot? 

Barclay faltered, stumbling back, his hands hitting the counter. “I… I’m scared.” He finally admitted. 

Stern stepped closer, kicking a stray piece of glass that Barclay had missed and sending it sliding across the kitchen floor. “What are you afraid of?”

“That you won’t… you won’t love me anymore,” Barclay admitted, his words weak with fear. He averted his eyes, and Stern reached a hand up to Barclay’s cheek and gently turned the man’s attention back.

“Is it really that bad?” Stern didn’t seem too concerned, but Barclay was sure that was because Stern didn’t know yet. Stern looked deep into Barclay’s eyes, and Barclay’s heart began to race again. And it raced faster and faster until eventually, he had to pull away. 

He gently pushed Stern’s hand off his cheek and walked toward the living room, where Stern had all his Bigfoot photographs and evidence laid out on a glass table. Barclay’s hand clenched, and he bit his lip. “It’s not bad it’s just… it’s big.” Barclay had to stop himself from scoffing in irony. Yeah, big was one word to describe it. Another word was ‘foot.’ Talk about an elephant in the room. 

Stern ran his fingers through his hair. “Whatever it is, Barclay, I’m sure we can figure it out. I’m not asking for much, I just want to be in the loop.” 

“Being in the loop is a much bigger ask than you think it is, Joe.” Barclay sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. He couldn't tear his eyes off of the photographs--some pictures of him, others a hoax. Stern was going to freak out. But somehow, Barclay didn't think Stern would tell anyone. Not if he knew how important the secret was. Hell, if Barclay could trust Ned freaking Chicane...

“Don’t you trust me?” Stern gently ran a hand down Barclay’s back.

Tingles streamed down Barclay’s spine, and he took in a shaky breath. “I trust you. I do, I really do, Joe.”

Stern frowned deeply. “Ok, what is it, then? Are you running from the law?” 

Barclay pulled a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck, turning around to face his ex. Shit. No more lies. He promised. “I guess you could… say that. It’s not like I’ve done something wrong, it’s just...”

Stern’s face went pale. He pinched the bridge of his nose and put his other hand on his hip. “Why would you be running from the law if you didn’t do something bad? What is it? Arson? Hacking? Did you date me because you thought I could get you off or something?” Stern’s voice began to grow louder. 

“What? No! God, no, I could never… I would never do something like that.” And there it was. Exactly what Barclay was afraid of. That anger. That panic. That  _ distrust. _ Panic rose in Barclay’s throat, and he instinctively took a step back. 

“Kidnapping? Murder?” Stern’s voice rose steadily as he was naming off various crimes, and with every decibel, Barclay grew more and more uncomfortable. 

“No, no, I told you, I didn’t do anything!” 

“Then why are they looking for you?” 

“Because I’m him!” Barclay gestured vaguely at the glass table and then paled. There it was. The truth. He said it. He actually  _ said  _ it. To Stern. 

And now, it was all over. 

Stern stopped, finally lowering his voice. “What?” 

“I’m  _ him _ .” Barclay turned around and gestured to the table again, at all the photos. The stills from the video. And he squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.” 

“You’re… You’re the person in Ned’s video?” Stern stumbled backward, catching himself on one of the counters. His eyes were wide and unblinking, mouth open. But that was about the expression Barclay would have expected from someone who just found out they had been dating  _ bigfoot.  _ “So it was all a hoax? And you knew? The whole time you knew?” 

Barclay opened his eyes and looked at Stern. He didn’t know why, but he was crying. “No, Joe. It’s not a hoax. That’s… that’s me. That’s what I really look like.” 

Stern looked up at Barclay, shaking his head. “You promised me, no more lies.” 

“I’m not lying.” Barclay held up his wrist, pointing to the bracelet. “You once asked me why I never take this off. Well…” He breathed “...now you know.” In one movement, he removed the bracelet and dropped it on the ground. And he grew. And he grew and grew, his head bumping on the ceiling. His body grew hairier, his feet--well, you can guess. He had to lean over to fit in the tiny apartment, as he was a good 8 feet tall in his true form. 

And there he was. 

Bigfoot. 

The thing Stern had been searching for all those years was finally in front of him. And to top it all off, the thing was in love with him. Really, truly, irreparably in love. The kind of love that lasted lifetimes--real and true. 

And they could never be together. 

Stern walked forward, and Barclay instinctively stepped back, but Stern looked up with an almost unreadable expression--but it wasn’t fear. It wasn’t disgust. It wasn’t even anger. “It’s okay,” Stern promised, and he stepped closer again. Stern ran his fingers through Barclay’s fur, pressing his hand to Barclay’s chest. And then his forehead. “Holy shit.” His breath was warm against Barclay’s skin.

“Surprise?” Barclay shrugged, completely at a loss. He expected fear. Yelling. Running away. Taking him away to some lab where they would run painful, painful experiments. But Stern almost seemed… happy. 

Stern bent down and picked the bracelet up off the ground. “And this… This makes you human. At least, it makes you appear human?”

Barclay nodded and shrugged slightly. “Yeah, that’s the gist of it.” 

Stern lifted Barclay’s wrist and gently placed the bracelet back, watching in awe as Barclay shrank back to his usual giant size. Stern’s eyes gleamed with curiosity. “You’re really him.” 

“In the flesh.” Barclay gestured to all of him, smiling that crooked, nervous smile that he got whenever he was around Stern. 

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you?” Stern took Barclay’s hand again, intertwining their fingers. 

“Yeah, that’s sort of why I avoided the whole thing. Aren’t… aren’t you scared? Aren’t you going to take me in or something?” Barclay’s attention turned to their hands. He gently began to rub the back of Stern’s hand with his thumb, heart pounding. 

Stern shook his head. He pulled Barclay close, his head resting on the other man’s chest as he sighed in contentment. “No. I’m not.” 

“But… your job. You did it, you succeeded… you found me.” Barclay ran his finger’s through Stern’s hair, but found himself unable to push the other man away. He was acutely aware of the fact that Stern could probably hear his heart racing, but didn’t bother to do anything about it. 

“I found something else too.”

“And what’s that?” 

Stern looked up into Barclay’s eyes. “A boyfriend. Hopefully.” 

Barclay felt his cheeks warm, and he looked away. “You… You’d really date me? After seeing what I look like and finding out I’m not even human?” 

Stern raised a hand to Barclay’s cheek. “I love  _ you _ , Barclay. That hasn’t changed.”

Barclay placed a hand over Stern’s, eyes watering yet again. But for a different reason. Good reasons. 

“So, what do you say? Boyfriend?” 

Barclay nodded, unable to answer because his voice was caught in his throat. 

Stern grinned, and he kissed Barclay’s cheek. Once again, he leaned on Barclay’s chest and just sighed. “Wow.” 

“Wow what?” 

“I can’t believe Bigfoot is my boyfriend.” 


	4. Talk Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some nice fluff after the big reveal ;) guess what song I was listening to when I wrote this (hint hint the title)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 4 is fictober day 8 and is based on the prompt "are you kidding me?"  
> 

Stern pushed Barclay back on the couch and deepened the kiss slightly, his tongue gliding seamlessly into Barclay’s mouth. Barclay returned the gesture, running his hands up Stern’s back. Their legs intertwined, and for a moment, Barclay forgot everything he had been trying to say.

  
Stern’s fingers glided down Barclay’s arm, all the way to the bracelet. He picked at it slightly, as if he was going to remove it.

  
Barclay instantly reacted, pushing Stern back. They stared at each other for a while before Stern moved his hand away.

Stern pouted. “What? Did I do something wrong?” His big eyes were pooled with concern.

  
Barclay blushed, averting his eyes. “No, no, it’s just… the bracelet.” Barclay rubbed his wrist with his other hand, taking a sharp breath. He wasn’t ready for Stern to… see him so close yet.

  
“Oh, that? I already know what you look like. It’s not a big deal.” Stern shrugged.

  
“I think I’m easier to kiss in this form.” Barclay raised an eyebrow. Did Stern want to see him like that? It was hard enough for Barclay to show him the one time, and part of him was still convinced this was all a dream. That there was no way Stern saw him and didn’t immediately freak out.

  
Stern laughed. “I guess I wouldn’t really know, would I?”

  
“You want to kiss Bigfoot?”

  
Stern leaned back in, lips brushing against Barclay’s as he spoke. “I already am kissing Bigfoot.” He went back in for more gentle kisses.

  
Barclay laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

  
“What, you don’t like it?”

  
“Are you kidding me? I never thought this would happen when I told you… I’m just surprised.”

  
Stern sat up, straddling Barclay and placing his hands on Barclay’s chest. “How did you think I was going to react?”

  
Barclay sat up as well, holding onto Stern so that the other man wouldn’t fall. “I don’t know… I guess I expected fear. Or disgust. Or to be taken to some lab somewhere. Or-”

  
Stern placed his finger on Barclay’s lip. “Ok, ok, I get it. You know, you talk a lot when you’re nervous.”

  
“Well, maybe you should shut me up,” Barclay smirked, looking down at Stern with twinking eyes.

  
“Maybe I should.” Stern leaned up for another kiss, slowly pushing Barclay back down.

Barclay held Stern gently in his arms, breathing a little heavy. “I can’t believe I’m not dreaming.”

  
Stern laughed, interlocking their legs and resting his head on Barclay’s chest. “You can’t believe you’re not dreaming? Imagine how I feel. This has been one crazy night.” Somehow, Stern didn’t seem too concerned with that fact even as he said it. He seemed almost happy about the whole ordeal--but then, if he wasn’t, Barclay would have been a little worried.

  
“I know, I know. It’s just… it’s not every day I show someone my true form and find out they’re still attracted to me.”

  
Stern shrugged slightly. “I don’t see why.” Stern began to trace little circles on Barclay’s chest. “I think you’re an attractive dude--human or otherwise.”

“That’s because you’re weird.”

  
Stern gently smacked his hand down on Barclay’s bare chest. “Hey!”

  
Barclay laughed. “No offense,” he added--but Stern still pouted, even though he knew that Barclay was just joking around.

  
Stern looked off into the distance. “Will you ever let me see it again?”

  
“See what?” Barclay looked down at Stern, who was still staring at a rather interesting section of the wall.

  
“Your real form, Mr. Bigfoot.” He went back to drawing little circles on Barclay’s chest, some form of nervous habit, Barclay guessed.

  
Barclay looked away, shrugging slightly. “I… Maybe. Some day. I mean, probably. Why?”

  
Stern shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I just figured that… it’s uncomfortable for you… to have to hide yourself all the time.”

  
Barclay shook his head. “You don’t have to worry about that. It’s not uncomfortable or anything, and I’ve gotten used to it.”

  
“Are there others? Others like you?”

  
Barclay clammed up for a moment. He couldn’t out the others at the Lodge. It was bad enough he told Stern about the Bigfoot thing without clearing it with the others first. He pursed his lips. “If you’re asking about other Bigfoot, I think I’m the only one. One of a kind, that’s me.”

  
“Is it lonely?” Stern asked, concern filling his voice.

  
“No, no--God, no. It’s not like I’m completely alone. I’m just the only Bigfoot.” Barclay hoped that Stern got his hint.

  
Stern made an ‘O’ shape with his mouth and nodded slowly. “Ok, I gotcha. I assume that… you can’t tell me about other cryptids.”

  
Barclay shook his head. “Sorry, some things have to stay secret. I can’t… it’s not my place.”

  
Stern shrugged. “It’s ok. I understand. I don’t want to overstep. But… One day I hope they’ll all trust me enough to tell me. Let me in the loop. If there are others, did you have to get their permission to tell me?”

  
Barclay ran his fingers through Stern’s hair idly. “I didn’t ask.”

  
Stern sat up. “What?”

  
Barclay sighed and sat up as well. “I… I was going to. I was. But at the end of the day, it’s my choice who I tell. I know that it was selfish. I put everyone at risk. But… I knew that you wouldn’t tell. And if you did, then it would be my problem. I wouldn’t bring anyone else into it.”

  
“Are… Are they going to be mad at you when they find out you told?”

  
Barclay half-smiled, trying to hide how much he was trying to not think about that exact thing. How much the thought of Mama’s face when she knew absolutely terrified him. “Probably.”

  
“Barclay, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize-”

  
Barclay planted a kiss on Stern’s lips, stoping the spiral before it could begin. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. And... I’m glad I told you.”

  
“You are?”

  
Barclay moved a stray hair out of Stern’s face, a soft smile decorating his lips. His hand lingered on Stern’s cheek. “Yeah. I am.”

  
Stern returned the soft smile, reaching up and cupping Barclay’s hand with his own. “Well, I’m glad you told me too. It was… so lonely without you.”

  
“I know. I felt the same way.”

  
Stern nuzzled against Barclay’s hand, leaving a little kiss on his palm. “Hey… I love you.”

  
Barclay’s heart soared, and his gentle smile turned into a grin. “I love you too.”


	5. Something To Hold On To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barclay realizes he has to tell Mama about what happened with Stern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 5 is fictober day 9 and is based on the prompt "how about you trust me for once?"

Barclay raised a shaking hand and slowly knocked on the door. He felt nauseous, the room was spinning. This was something he was not looking forward to. It was time for him to face the consequences of his actions with Stern. He had spent the weekend on cloud 9, practically never leaving Stern’s bed, blissfully unaware of the world. But Monday came, and Barclay had to work, and everything came crashing down around him.  
  
He had to tell Mama.  
  
As much as he wished he could stay in the little world he had made with Stern forever, the reality was he had a duty to the lodge, and to his people. He let everyone down. But Stern wasn’t going to tell anyone, Barclay made him sware, so that was something.  
  
Wasn’t it?  
  
“Come in, Barclay.” Mama’s voice drifted from the other side of the door, and Barclay gulped.  
  
How she always knew it was him, he would never know.  
  
He slowly cracked open the door, clearing his throat to try and keep his voice from cracking with nerves. “Um, hey, Mama.”  
  
“So? How did it go?” Mama didn’t look at Barclay, she was busy flipping through some papers at her desk. Barclay didn’t want to interrupt, but he stepped closer. It was important that she knew.  
  
“Um… Great, actually.” Barclay rubbed his hands together nervously.  
  
“And you just came here to report the status of your relationship with the FBI agent who is hunting you down?” The judgment in her voice eas thick like syrup.  
  
“Well, no, there’s actually… there’s something else.” Barclay sucked in a breath. Now or never. It was important that she knew. “I told him. Not about the lodge, but about me.”  
  
Mama stopped what she was doing and put down her pen. “You what?”  
  
“Told him. He knows that I’m… Bigfoot.” Barclay couldn’t meet her eyes. He saw a glimpse of the expression on her face, and it was not good. No, it was far from good. In fact, Barclay was almost sure he was going to get thrown out on his ass for this.  
  
Mama stood slowly from her desk. “You told an FBI agent whose sole job it is to hunt Bigfoot down… that you are Bigfoot.”  
  
Barclay cleared his throat. “Yes. But! He took it very well, and, Mama, he swore not to say anything… God, he even took me back! We’re dating again and-”  
  
“I don’t care if he took you back! Do you have any idea what you’ve done? The danger you put all of us in?” Mama’s voice rose as she lost her composure. She rubbed her eyes with one hand, grumbling something to herself before continuing. “If they find out about Sylvain, I-”  
  
“They won’t! I didn’t even tell him about that, or about anyone else in the lodge, just... Just me. It just slipped out!”  
  
“What does he know?” Mama’s voice was low and monotonous.  
  
“What? Barclay looked up, an eyebrow raised. The yelling stopped, but was that a good thing? Or was this the calm before the storm?  
  
“What does he know, Barclay?” That time, her voice came out in a snap, like a whip across Barclay’s chest. He flinched.  
  
“He… he knows I’m Bigfoot. And he knows that… that others are somehow involved, but he doesn’t know how. I-I didn’t tell him about Sylvain, or the others, or how Amnesty lodge is connected. He doesn’t know about the abominations or anything like that… I wanted your permission first before I-”  
  
“Permission? Oh, we are well past that, Barclay. You should have come to me before you-” Mama gestured widely at Barclay and sighed heavily, turning her back toward Barclay and slamming her hands down on the desk. “We have to be so careful… and you blew all of that away, for what? A good fuck?”  
  
“I love him!” Barclay snapped, then covered his mouth. He hadn’t meant to speak to her in that tone, but it as too late. The words were already out on the table.  
  
Mama straightened and turned halfway, looking at Barclay with wide eyes. “What?”  
  
Barclay removed his hand and rolled his shoulders, straightening out. He had a habit of slouching to make himself look shorter, less intimidating--but this was not a time for that. He needed to be as sure with his words as he was with his heart. “I said I love him. And he loves me. We’re serious about each other.”  
  
“Barclay-”  
  
“How about you just trust me! For once!” Barclay’s own voice raised, and he shook slightly. He didn’t want to yell at Mama like that, they wre good friends and had been for so long, but he needed her to understand where he was coming from. “Trust me to know what’s best for me, and trust Joe because I trust him!”  
  
“What are you going to do when he can’t keep the secret to himself? This is his job, Barclay! He’s supposed to find you--find all of us! And he did, thanks to you! They’re going to get it out of him!” Mama gesticulated wildly at nothing in particular, pointing at the documents on her desk and then back at Barclay.  
  
“They won’t!” Barclay countered, keeping his voice firm. He wanted to show her how serious he was. Then maybe she would calm down and listen to him.  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
“How do you?”  
  
Mama shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, then ran her hand down her face in exasperation. “We’ll talk about this later.”  
  
“I want to talk about this now! Please, mama, if you just give him a chance-”  
  
“I said, we’ll talk about this later,” she snapped, turning around again and placing her hands on her desk.  
  
Barclay’s jaw clenched and he balled his hands into fists. “Fine. I’ll leave, then.”  
  
“I think that is wise, yes.”  
  
Barclay turned and walked out the door, unintentionally slamming it behind him.  
  
Aubrey poked her head around the corner and walked over to him. “Barclay? Are you alright? It sounded like things were getting pretty heated in there…”  
  
He forced a smile, not wanting to worry her further. “Everything is fine. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your date?”  
  
Aubrey gasped. “How did you know?”  
  
A light chuckle escaped Barclay’s throat, and he felt almost better. Still shitty, though. Definitely still shitty. “It was all you could talk about last week. I remember things! Go on, I don’t want to keep you.”  
  
Aubrey eyed Barclay up and down and shrugged. “Well, ok, if you say so. I guess I’ll get back to it.”  
  
Barclay let out a sigh of relief when Aubrey left--mostly because he was glad she didn’t press the matter further. He didn’t know if he could take another person being angry with him. 

  
Barclay groaned as he flopped on Stern’s bed, burying his face in a pillow. He hit his lip and held his breath, counting to ten to try and stop himself from crying. Or screaming. Or both. He knew Mama was going to be mad, but, he wasn’t expecting to be basically thrown out.  
  
Stern walked in carrying two generously filled glasses of wine. “That bad?”  
  
Barclay sat up, graciously taking the glass and sipping at the wine. “It was brutal.” His shoulders slumped, and he chose a rather interesting smudge on the bedspread to stare at so that he wouldn’t have to look at Stern’s guilty face.  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that telling me the truth would have that effect... “ Stern rubbed Barclay’s back gently in comforting circles. “If I could take it all back-”  
  
“I don’t regret telling you.: Barclay finally looked over at Stern, leaning into Stern’s hand. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”  
  
“But you’re upset! I can tell…” Stern’s eyebrows scrunched with concern, and Barclay’s heart swelled. It felt… nice. Being cared for. Having someone who worried and thought about you.  
  
Barclay sighed and turned his attention back to the wine. “I am… It’s hard, fighting with mama. She’s the closest thing to a best friend I’ve ever had.”  
  
Stern leaned his head against Barclay’s shoulder. “Just… give her some space. I’m sure she just needs to take a deep breath and think about this all a little more. She’s worried about you. That’s understandable.”  
  
Barclay looked away. “I just wish she would trust me--trust you. I thought that telling her I trust you would be enough, but… God, Joe, she almost fainted when I told her we were in love.”  
  
Stern pulled Barclay close to him, and Barclay slouched in Stern’s arms. He laid his head on Stern’s chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat going thump, thump, thump. “She’ll come around. She cares about you, I know she does.”  
  
Barclay sighed and nodded. “Yeah. You’re right. I just need to give her space.”  
  
“And until she comes around, I won’t press you about cryptids, or what Mama, Duck, Aubrey, and Ned are doing in that lodge. Sound like a deal?” Stern half-joked in an attempt to bring a smile to Barclay’s face.  
  
It worked, and Barlcay let out a little laugh. “Sounds like a deal.” He looked up, smile still on his wine-soaked lips. “Thank you.”  
  
Stern leaned down and planted a kiss on Barclay’s nose. “Anytime, Love.”


	6. Sometime After Noon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barclay and Mama Talk™️

He couldn't let it go on like this. It was brutal. It was more than brutal it was absolute hell on earth. Mama hadn't spoken to him in... well, weeks. And Barclay hadn't spoken either--it was mutual. 

Mutually assured destruction. 

But they kept exchanging glances. They would lock eyes and then quickly look away, pretending nothing had happened. One thing was clear--each was waiting for the other to approach. Neither could stand the silence. But they both though that silence was what the other wanted. At least, that's what Barclay had gathered. And he hoped that his assumption was correct, because he currently stood outside Mama's office, waiting for her to come to the door. He had decided to take the first step. 

He was going to repair their friendship, if it was the last thing he did. 

The others at the lodge still didn't know the truth about what was going on. Aubrey suspected something was up, and she had asked Barclay multiple times, but he just avoided the question. Everyone had noticed that Barclay and Mama weren't talking, but no one knew why. They had their theories, but many were surprisingly off base. 

Mama opened the door, eyes widening at the sight of Barclay in the doorway. She looked tired, she'd been losing sleep--probably because the full moon was just around the corner and they had no leads on the abomination. She stiffened, standing up straighter. "Can I help you with something, Barclay?" 

"I think it's time we talk." Barclay didn't ask for entry into her office, he just went inside, slipping past her easily. He wasn't going to let her get away. Not this time. Not after everything they had been through together. 

Mama closed the door, clearing her throat. She didn't look at him, instead facing to the side of her office and choosing a stagnant section of wall to stare intensely at. "So talk." 

Barclay sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Mama, I-God, I hate this. The not talking. I know I messed up but I never expected--I never wanted my relationship to come between us, you have to know that." 

"I do know that, Barclay." Mama slumped slightly and turned, finally facing him. "And I... I know I messed up too. I shouldn't have gotten so upset I was just," she pulled her hair over her shoulder and pulled at the ends, "I was scared. For my friends. For the lodge. For you..." 

"I know. I didn't mean to put you in that position--but I did, and I'm sorry. But Joe--Agent Stern is a good man. By now I think he's proven that, right? He hasn't told a soul, and he's even respected the privacy of everyone here--he hasn't asked me anything about the lodge or other Sylvins or even about Sylvain in general. He's waiting until you are all ready to let him in." Barclay stepped forward, pleading with Mama. He needed her to understand. 

Mama laughed slightly, but it was a sad, forced laughter. Bitter and strained. Like she was laughing at herself. "Yeah, I noticed when the FBI didn't come pounding down our door that... I was wrong about him. About you and him. About everything. And for that, Barclay, I am truly sorry." Mama stepped forward as well, and she held out her arms. "I just... fuck, I want to hug and make up already. Can we?" 

Barclay smiled and pulled Mama close. "All is forgiven." 

Mama wrapped her arms around Barclay with some difficulty, and there was no mistaking that the hug was awkward and strained from the sheer difference in height, but it was perfect. 

"I missed this." Barclay breathed. 

"This?" 

"Us." 

Mama smiled and nodded. "I did too."

* * *

Stern got up from the couch with a start as Barclay opened the door to what was now effectively their apartment. He held a bottle in each hand and had a crazed expression on his face. His hair was standing in several directions, as he had clearly been running his fingers through his hair repeatedly with worry. "Did it go ok? I have Champaign for yes and whiskey for no. I'm prepared either way." Stern held up the bottles helplessly, and Barclay couldn't help but laugh. 

He tried to hide the smile on his face, but couldn't. "Break out that Champaign." 

Stern visibly relaxed as he set down the bottle of whiskey and talked up to Barclay, giving his boyfriend a large hug. "I'm so happy to hear that. I know how much Mama means to you."

"I'm glad you're glad because she wants to talk to you. About, well... lots of things. Maybe a healthy dose of threatening. Make sure you keep me secret and all that." Barclay kissed the top of Stern's head. 

"Whatever helps her sleep at night. Although I really won't tell. I'm not stupid." He looked up at Barclay. "Does this mean I'll finally be let in the loop?" 

Barclay shrugged. "Its not  not on the table."

Stern grinned. "Good enough for me!" 

"But I won't promise anything." Barclay ran his fingers through Stern's hair in an attempt to fix where it was sticking out. 

Stern shrugged. "That's fine. I wasn't expecting them to trust me right away. I figured I had some groveling to do first." 

"Groveling?" 

"Oh, trust me, I'm fully prepared to grovel. On my knees and everything." 

Barclay laughed. "I don't think Mama wants that. Just a simple oath will do the trick."

Stern rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. I'll take an oath. Because this is the 1400s."

Barclay pulled away from the hug. "You know what I mean," he noted playfully. 

"Yes, yes. I will promise to Mama that I won't say a word. So, when should I be expecting this chat?" 

"Dinner. Tomorrow night. Expect all of my friends to be listening in but pretending not to." 

Stern's lips pulled into a grin and he nodded. "You got it." 


End file.
